COFFEE & BISCUITS

Crunch Time

Wendy — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 00:26:28 +0000

Since Thanksgiving I have either been traveling out of town or hanging out with family (or both), which means that I did not get to get work done. Not only did I not get work done, but I also didn’t get to do the kind of activities that I do to relax myself. These disruptions to my usual life, while pleasant, have slowly accumulated into an undercurrent of stress that one day explodes in my face.

That one day, is about Monday.

Yesterday, I finally get my Tango fix (not since Thanksgiving). When I entered the room, my usual tiny-Asian-female partner greeted me enthusiastically with “ANNA!!!!!!”. All the familiar faces of dancing friends. As I tangoed around the room with C and N and R to the old-time-black-and-white-movie kind of movie, I felt at home, and calmed.

What’s the point of this post? Just to say here that I am DETERMINED to be back.

On the Shoulder of Giants

Wendy — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 00:59:12 +0000

Recently my research agenda has led me onto a journey backtrekked in time for a particular group of economic models. As I read each more recent paper, I felt compelled to read the older paper which the new paper is based on.

It is a wonder to observe the progress that each paper makes. I have so much respect for Arrow (1962), Jovanovic (1989), and Melitz and Ottaviano (2008).

Somewhere, Somehow

Wendy — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 06:39:39 +0000

This night, I felt like an alien in this world. Everybody is eventually finding their place, their ending place in this world. I had been Rip Van Wrinkle, waking up after a seemingly brief nap, I find the world around me,

Strange.

It has to be done. There is nothing else as important as it.

Close My Eyes and Dance

Wendy — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 06:51:53 +0000

I have been doing Argentine tango since July and it has become one of those activities that I just HAVE to do at least once per week. A fellow milonguera who is a PhD student in psychology herself calls this weekly tango activity her “tango fix.” A common usage of this phrase is,

“I NEED MY TANGO FIX!”

I am beginning to feel that I NEED Argentine Tango myself.

A month ago, I asked my fellow milongueras, what else I need to learn to improve my techniques, as I feel that at that point I don’t feel that I am learning as much in classes. I seem to have reached a flat portion of the learning curve, unable to proceed up.

A person told me I should learn how to establish the “connection.” Argentine Tango is about the “connection” (hence it is different from your stiff ballroom tango). I should, for example, learn to relax my arm. Enjoy the music. Worry less about all the fancy moves and embellishments (which is what I am all about). Close your eyes, enjoy the music, they said. I do observe that the pictures taken in most milongas show people dancing with their eyes closed, intensely.

I could not close my eyes. To me, Argentine Tango is about techniques, and fancy moves.

But ever since the quarter began, and the classes reverted back to welcoming all these people who are quite beginner (see how snobbish I quickly get), I have been busy myself and always felt tired when I drag myself to my Tango fix. So at some point, I closed my eyes when I dance.

It’s been wonderful, and an altogether different dancing experience than with my eyes open. With my eyes close, I grow relaxed and immerse myself totally in the music. The music that transports the scene into 1920s Argentina.

And so, I am closing my eyes.

Grandma’s Final Gift

Wendy — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 03:23:18 +0000

Yesterday I finally talked to my mother after months of no communication. She caught a flu. But even in her weak voice, I detected a hint of amusement (in addition to her excitement when she heard that I will be in Singapore during Spring quarter), when she said to me, “By the way, there is something you might find interesting….”

So the story is, my Dad was going through my Grandma’s remaining possessions (she passed away more than 10 years ago) and found 2 pieces of paper. It turned out that when I was 7 year old and my brother 8 year old, she took our birth time and orientation (“si sung bak zi”) to those prognosticator so that they could foretell our lives. The result is a long written document fortelling my and my brother’s life from age 7 and 8. The prediction was written for every 5-year block of our life.

My mom didn’t tell me what is written. She said we will share it only when I went back to Hong Kong.

What I found most interesting is what this says about Grandma. Why didn’t she ever tell us she did this? She didn’t even tell my father or mother! She just hid those papers. And now, only after so many years after her decease and the date when this paper is written ( 21 years later ) was it found.

I miss her. In my mind, I can see my sneaky Grandma (she was cute, street smart, and sneaky) secretly taking our birth times and orientation to consult the old sage, and then hiding it.

I miss her.

Christmas Song

Wendy — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 07:32:25 +0000

As the weather became more fall-like, I am increasingly falling into a Christmas mode. I mentioned to my piano teacher about playing Christmas carols, and he whipped out “The Christmas Song.” I love this christmas song. It is extremely cozy. Hearing it conjures the image of my sipping a cup of hot chocolate by the warm fire. The lyrics mentions “chestnuts roasting by the open fire”.

Oh Christmas. It means being surrounded physically by loved ones.

It’s Worth It

Wendy — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 04:01:44 +0000

This past summer, I invested in friendships and relationships rather than work. And now I think it is totally worth it. Today as I was driving back to Lakeview, I thought, indeed it is relationship with people that make you whole.

A recently conflict with my upstairs neighbor revealed all the fruits of these relationships I built during the summer. I no longer feel alone. There are all these friends around me who care about me and give me wise advise for problems. It feels good to be surrounded by friends.

So, thank you, tango pals, and thank you, D.

(And of course, thank you L, who has always been helping me all these years (but was out of the loop on my crazy tenant incidence since he is not on facebook)

(And perhaps having a healthy private life also positively spills over to work, as my advisor seems to like the new direction of research that I have taken this summer.)

Next Level: Intermediate/Advance

Wendy — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 06:54:28 +0000

I need to congratulate myself for being committed enough to an extra-curricular activity to such a degree that I am actually ascending to the Intermediate/Advance level! This past weekend I was immersed in an intensive 2-day several hours Tango workshop from 2 visiting instructors from Argentina.

Scenes from True Lies and Scent of a Woman no longer impresses me, and now I am onto appreciating the following (and I actually have learned more than 60% of the moves in the below clip, albeit of course I execute them in a much less elegant fashion):

My Beautiful MATLAB Graph

Wendy — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 07:54:10 +0000

t = 0 equals the date of policy shock for the chosen Chinese cities out of more than 200 cities. All effects are controlled for time invariant city effect and time effects.

Tiny little confidence boosters

Wendy — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 19:49:27 +0000

1. A new student in my program who was formerly working in my position in Washington DC told me that in the summer picnic, he was telling a former deputy director of our institute and currently a professor that he will be going to U of C, when that professor says, “Oh, AW (me) goes there!” HE STILL REMEMBERS ME! HE STILL REMEMBERS WHO I AM!!!!

2. Ever google search yourself? I do. Why? Because citations are important to academics. Yesterday I found that one of my papers, which I thought nobody on earth reads, was heavily cited in a paper and indeed almost formed the basis of that paper! This is definitely a confidence booster. I should go forth being confident about the topics I pick and carry it out! Because, who knows, somebody just might find it interesting.