Filed under: Dating
When my good friend said on the phone, in this uncharacteristically weak voice, “You meet this one guy whom you think you can give it a chance, and he breaks your a heart again, and leave you with carrying another scar. Why can’t I seem to hold on to a guy?”
When I heard this self doubt in the voice of this beautiful and confident girl, I wanted to cry myself. My heart was breaking with hers.
Yes, why does this happen to good girls? I just want to kick a wall after this conversation because I felt that life is so unfair. This is so unfair, and I am sick of this happening to good people.
While I reassured her with my belief in fairytale endings, I really wasn’t sure myself. Do fairytale endings happen to good people?
Recently, I was thinking that, dating is like crossing the Sahara desert. You think you see an oasis, but it is just another mirage. And eventually, that hope only makes you more thirsty. And wanting the water only make you more thirsty and give you more mirage. Until one day, you stop seeing the oasis. And perhaps you would pass by one, not believing it is a real thing. (And then you die)
Today I went to a happy hour hosted by my undergrad institution where all alumni, students, and friends gathered in a bar to make conversation, or possibly more, to each other.
So I was making excellent conversation with a guy who confesses to me that he makes 100K per year and works in the intelligence. It really was a wonderful conversation.
That is, until, I said I have to get going, and he said, while shoving me his name card:
“Let’s hang out sometime. Here’s my card.”
This is exactly the scene from the trailer from “He’s just not that into you.”
It is happening again to me, like the last many times. The guy gave you the card, threw the ball at your court.
Next time, I am going to shove it back at him, and say, “You call me instead.”
Watching the trailer for an upcoming movie (in Fall) named “He’s Not that Into You”, I was reminded of all my unanswered experiences with guys in the past.
The sequence of event usually happened like this: we had an amazing conversation and clearly clicked, then he died off from the earth.
Really: why was it that he didn’t call me after we had that great and long conversation? What happened? This didn’t just happened once. It happened….let me count….4 times.
I am actually grateful for my speed-dating and post-speed dating experience now. Because it reminds me how dating feels like and that I have to keep on dating. To maintain a forward and proactive attitude (confirmed by the mathematical proof by Shapley and some other mathematician about the pareto optimality of a proactive seacher in the game of matching), I hereby state my goals in the rest of the year (by stating them here, I can be sure that some of you would come questioning me about them in the future thereby driving me to take action):
1. I will have made friends with 5 guys I found attractive by the end of summer.
2. I will have had 32 dates by today next year.
There!
