COFFEE & BISCUITS

A little less than 4 years ago, I carried my trembling body into Professor Intensity’s office.   In my nervous voice, I proposed my thesis topic.  In less than 3 seconds, it was shot down to hell.  I exited the office as a soldier dragging her defeated body away from the bloody battlefield.   Then a couple days later, Prof Intensity send me an email with a suggestion for a topic, and said “if it’s not up to snuff, it will not qualify as an honor thesis.”   I spent the next 3 months exerting the hightest effort on it.  It was deemed “impressive” and gave me the first taste of research. 

But I did not care for it.  Truth is the topic is so uninteresting that it will waste of anybody’s time to work on it.

I never want to repeat that again.

Between that time and now, I have added one more independent paper in between.  That paper, however many readers it is exposed to due to its publisher, AGAIN, is a methodology paper, which cannot capture the attention of an audience.  The content of that paper, AGAIN, was suggested by my advisor.

It does not matter that I made any contribution to the topic, the fact is, that topic is not originated by me.

Til now I have not gotten the hang of finding a good topic, independently.  By good topic, I mean one that is worth my time to dig into it.

It is my fear that I can never find one that interests people.

Today I have to repeat the scene 4 years ago, dragging my trembling self into a professor’s office to propose a topic.  THE topic which I will be devoting my time to in the rest of the year.  THE topic that can again prove myself or not prove myeslf to be a researcher. 

Well, he did not declare with enthusiasm that “IT IS SO SO SO INTERESTING!”.  He did not even say that, “hmm, this is interesting.”  But he said, “this is doable, and there might be something there.”  And he signed the paper.

There might be something there.

Well, that’s progress from 4 years ago!  I am so glad!